October 2009
2 posts
I’m the account holder for my family’s phone plan because I get a company discount with Verizon. Because of this, I received a call from Verizon this morning that went a little something like this:
“Hi. I’m __ from Verizon. I’ve got your mom here. Her phone is broken and I need your permission to get her a new one.”
Hilarious.
September 2009
8 posts
Can I get a boy-speak translator because this made...
Me: I think I’m gonna risk street parking since it’s a weeknight and drive to TdB tonight.
If any of you downtown people want a ride, lemme know.
Boy: I’m banking on making the 4:20 train home so I can get a run in before meat fest.
Me: I’m confused. How does that relate to whether or not you want a ride? Are you running to TdB? You would then smell when you get there. :(
Boy: Bike ride!
The cafeteria where I work stops brewing coffee mid morning. First, wtf? Why do they think that people only drink coffee in the morning?
However, even though this means no fresh coffee as an afternoon pick-me-up, if there’s any left, they usually give it out for free.
Hmmm…free coffee or nice fresh coffee? If only I could have both.
A day in the life of an engineer...wait no, this...
Lina:
so i just colored the head of a bolt with a blue sharpie marker
and the color came out to be sooo pretty!!
oh wow!!
what the heck!!
it wipes right off!!
me:
um...have you been smelling the markers again?
why are you coloring bold heads?
Lina: cuz im bored and dont feel like startin my next task just yet
but dude u gotta see it!
haha
does ur phone accept pics?
...
...
And yes, she did then proceed to text me a picture of the bolt and it WAS pretty.
August 2009
12 posts
“This is the point where if you try to do a good deed, you’ll wind up...”
– A co-worker’s prediction of what would happened if he tried to get the printer working by pulling out jammed paper and cartridges at random until the printer decided it was happy.
Luckily for him, he did not wind up looking like Walt Disney threw up on him. However, he also didn’t...
Well shoot. And here I thought I decided my job...
Damn it all to hell. Here I am, enjoying how busy I’ve been at work lately but increasingly aware that this job/lifestyle is not satisfying to me. I see so many people fall into mediocrity—assuming that the endless stream of monotonous days leading up to the ultimate goal (retirement and relaxation) is not only the norm, but the limit to what can be achieved in this life—and I...
Hello, Oven? It's Phone. Now Let's Get Cooking! →
Because who doesn’t wish they could remote-start their oven on broiler-high…
Baby meets hedge trimmer? Lets not.
Yesterday, I saw two guys chatting on the sidewalk. One held a baby, the other held a hedge trimmer. I thought to myself “can we please make sure the baby and the hedge trimmer don’t get too close? Thanks.”
Story of my life
Silly me
Look what I did again
Found what I want
Is what I cannot have
I didn’t mean to be so predictable
But I blame it all on who made you irresistible
And it isn’t something I need
‘Til you tell me I can’t
Why wear my heart on my sleeve
When it looks so good in your hands
~Undertow
Sara Bareilles
Ok, so maybe not all of that, but parts of it really hit...
The coffee is broken--I'm still yawning...
"Everybody sails alone, but we can travel side by...
~KT Tunstall
I think this might be what marriage can be if you’re lucky.
I want land just so I can post this sign:
“No trespassing. Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.”
July 2009
18 posts
My favorite days at work are the days when I’m so busy and overloaded with information I can hardly remember what my name is.
Is that healthy?
see more Engrish
Well...at least they only stole 2/4...
Tow-truck man: I'm calling from the towing company. I'm here to pick up your car.
Me: I'm actually not home right now. I was told I didn't need to be there when my car got towed.
Tow-truck man: Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I figured out which car it is--it's the one with the wheels missing.
Me: Ha. Yup. That's the one.
All I Want - Susie Suh
Life Lessons, part 2
Getting so into the frisbee game that you dive for the frisbee is a good thing.
Diving for the frisbee on wet grass when you lose your footing, slide on your hip, and seriously bruise a part of your anatomy that gets used a lot at your sit-on-your-butt desk job is a really bad idea.
Life Lessons
Curling irons, unlike flat irons, are hot on the outside. While the plastic casing on a flat iron allows you to rest it against your forehead, this technique is not recommended when using a curling iron.
Needless to say, there’s a stinging red spot on my forehead this morning…
The continued saga of the cable internet...
Why is it that when you call Comcast, the automated system has you enter your phone number and then make a series of selections on what you’re calling about?
When, 20 minutes of holding and 2 transfers later, you get an actual human being on the phone, the first think they ask for is your phone number, followed by the reason for your call…
My roommate and I carpool to work and it always seems like the people in the car next to us are starting. We’ve got two explanations: either we’re just so hot they can’t help but look or people carpooling in Chicago is so rare that they glance, see a person in the passenger seat and think “Whoa, did you see that? There are TWO people in that car!!!” (Except they are...
Is it better to be honest or polite?
You run into someone in the hall at work. They politely ask “how are you?” And even though you’re actually having an awful day and your hormones are all out of wack to the point that you’re pretty sure EVERYTHING sucks, you politely reply “I’m doing well, thanks. How are you?”
Usually after such encounters, it hits me how much of a bold-faced lie that was...
So I went to lie down on the couch in the women’s bathroom at work today—just for a few minutes because I got the flu yesterday and still feel like I have a bit of a fever…except then I fell asleep. I think I was only out for 10 or 15 minutes but um…oops
Is there a charge number for that?
Simple as it Should Be ~Tristan Prettyman
Regarding how long it will take to pack a moving...
Me: Do you know when you'll get to Chicago?
My sister: I have no clue. Dad lives in la la land, Mom lives in la la land--but a different la la land-- and I've never been to la la land so I just don't know how things work there.
Me: So...what time do you think you'll get here then?
I am so sick of being on hold with the cable company that I just took a huge bite of food—hoping Murphy’s law would come through.
It did not.
19 minutes and counting…
My completely sports-ignorant self just got talked into going to a Cubs/Brewer’s game with the convincing argument “you’re coming.”
Turns out I’m a pushover when it comes to social events.
Under My Bed - Meiko